odds n' ends
どこでもいいよ
A shorthand for filial piety, its more outspoken cousin. The way I wished my great-uncle 身体健康 and 万事如意 because he was the brother of the mother of my mother but he did not cry the way my mother did at my grandmother's funeral. We memorized lists of 成语, recited them by habit during the New Years as a mode of currency—my fourth cousin was always the one most clever with words. I usually leave with seven to eight red envelopes, primarily stuffed with the faces of Abraham Lincoln. Unlucky. I learned pronunciation before meaning. Funny because mimes in the same play should have no reason to compete for best actor. I think about the people who loved me. The things I owed them.
Confessions: "You will understand when you are older. I am not willing to die for your mother, but I can die for you," my father once told me at age fourteen. I remember feeling an acute sense of pity—both for my mother and the me who may become a mother. I remember replying, "Me too." I think I wept that night; the prospects of dying were far too scary. But I suppose the philosophy of love is sacrifice has its own allures: 问世间情为何物 直教人生死相许. A cliché and a beautiful story. Don’t take her seriously because she reads stories saturated with ambiguous sexuality: absolutely improper. There is a confusion in the space where she used to play with her dark strands, fried from hydrogen peroxide. A nervous habit. The scissors are stainless steel—a stranger’s eyes stare back tentatively. Her neck feels cold sometimes but she prefers staying indoors to wearing turtlenecks. Maybe sensitivity is just a measure of mood: how eager are you to chew at boundaries. She is not sure she likes this. Someone reminds her that it is unwise to miss a person this much, so she cuts her sentiments. There must be more direct ways to satiate this hunger: a curiosity for hedonism, an accommodating appetite. Doctors would advise against the consumption of saline—tears and saliva remain distinct. But discontent can still be heard bubbling under layers of skin. They threaten to penetrate. tldr short hair is rly dandy yall should get mathilda cuts and pretend to be an edgy kid who jams to mcr + cigarettes after sex w0w so cool;;;
|
Authora little cynical & tired Archives
July 2019
Categories
All
|